for the sake of memory

for the sake of my memory, im gonna just say that i feel like shit now.... why? err... a whole lot of reasons; and im not going to tell me-in-the-future why. you know why? well, cuz i havent really experienced this emotion or mood or mode of function before. it seems that my body is trying to overcompensate for this inability to cope with myself by rambling on and on about random stuff. i think this is the way my mind is trying to scan through its entire database to try and match this feeling with an incident or an occasion thats more famaliar.
lianglin, when you read this a few years down the road, dont recall this as a painful moment, and that its just a learning experience which you might or might not have learnt a lot from.

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And on a totally unrelated note, also, for the sake of memory, i would like to tell myself-in-the-future how much sai kang i did over the last week. it was 3 straight days of sai kang.

the worst was being deployed as a traffic marshall under the hot sun during the -insert a number bigger than 2 but smaller than 4- div macritchie x-country championship. i was under the blazing sun in between 1100 to about 1730... i could actually see my shadow elongating. And it was terrible because you dont know which cars are the VIP ones and which ones are not. Can you imagine me going up to the different drivers and asking them their appointment? like, "ah, you... not high ranking enough, go park with the civilians in the sun. " then when i see some big shot, i'll direct them to the "vip" carpark.

and by "vip" i mean a section of the normal carpark that was blocked off by red plastic chairs and white tape. not very VIP if you ask me.

but the funny part was that i was issued one of those small walkie talkies, which shared the same channel as the conducting officer, sergeant major, the rest of the high ranking peope of my unit.

but because i was so intelligent to think that only the carpark people were on this channel, i started to talk to my friend cuz i was bored.. so we talked so much rubbish, and were beginning to start singing songs when sergeant major's voice broke in and said "OI what the **** are you all doing? better guard your ****ing carpark properly or you kena two times confinement i tell you..." oops....

but having access to their channel is also good that i can hear all their radio chatter. It was really funny when sergeant major was trying to look for somebody over walkie talkie..you can literally hear his frustrating bursting out of his voice... and the way the higher ups talk to each other. ah well, better not post it here, later i kena charged..

well, thats much better, i feel better already. thank you for reading this..