im that star up in the sky

Sometimes i wonder about the moon and stars.. why do they shine the way they do and how beautiful the look on a clear night sky. Of course i know the stars are just suns from some other galaxy, well some light dots in the sky at night are not even stars, they are satellites and space stations.. more often than not, i tend to mistake the russian space station for Venus, the closest planet to earth. Until i learnt that real stars twinkle, doing justice to the song, "twinkle twinkle little star".

Dont you just love to like on a patch of grass at night, and just look up into the heavens above, and just start counting them one by one?? its just so facinating to me how many stars there are in different days and times of the year. and somehow when you think of the actual sizes of those bad boys, and their distance in relative to the earth, and u finally realise how tiny u are in this wonderful creation of the almighty. make you think of yourself as just another life on earth, not some human with rights and wants and libidos. Just another life, just another speck of dust on earth.... and you consider that the significance of you in this universe. just how important do you think you are?? and like what good does whatever u try to do on this planet and this 70+ years of your life do?? after all, you are just carbon, nitrogen and oxygen plus a whole lot of other elements, put together.. why is everyone trying so damn hard to get to whereever they are?? why are people actually trying to be the best that we can be?? honestly, i do think its the herd mentality that we have and all. cuz every man is selfish and does not want to lose out in anyway, thats why we have competitions in every thing u can imagine.

ok, im digressing, back to the point, stargazing.

i mean, i never really had that kind of thoughts when i was a kid, maybe around 8 or 9.. the facination of that time is usually like when u read a book or when someone tells you that there are different patterns of stars (constellations) to spot or which one ives off a slight yellow hue because of gases on the surface of planet.. blah ..blah... still, i liked it.

This pasttime that i used to have when i was a kid soon became really impractical, as school work began to catch up. It was only last year, when in boarding school, every night, after prep, i religiously go to the top level of the swimming pool grandstands, and like down on the floor , still warm from the basking sun in the heat of the tropical afternoon. well, i do a little communication of course, terri and i would talk to each other while looking at the stars and sometimes the moon, until she falls asleep and i become so relaxed due to the theraputic nature of both the phone call, and the star gazing. (not to mention the hot concrete floor i laid on, some pple actually pay money to go to spas and lie on hot thingies)

i really want to go back when i didnt know so much and when not so much is expected of me everyday, how to behave, meeting deadlines, social relationships with other people, and just truly do the things i like.. like stargazing.. haha.. really, one of these days, just try, put aside all the troubles or other agendas and just lie and stare at the stars or moon... its just so... i dunno... pleasureable i guess..

well, thats it.. i must be getting back to my revision.. 19 dasy to pomos and counting...
now say it with me.... I WILL NOT GET RETAINED!! x3
yay!! haha... goodnight everyone...